Simple Pleasures

As the mother of a baby, one can find pleasure in very simple things that were often taken for granted before motherhood. Of course, there are the amazing things your baby does as he or she learns and develops new skills that make life very fulfilling. Motherhood is full of milestones that make your heart melt, but sometimes you need something that’s just for you.

Here are some things I have found solace in.

Getting out of the shower and not hearing a crying baby. First, it’s an accomplishment to even get a shower, but I hate having that time to myself spoiled by getting out to the sound of a crying infant. Instantly I’m back in mommy mode. That means I have to hurry my post shower routine to get downstairs to save my husband as quickly as I can.

A hot cup of tea. I find it very relaxing to hold the hot mug of tea in my hands. There’s something soothing about a tea that makes my day a little better.

I love snuggling a sleeping baby. When I sit in a rocking chair, holding that small, warm, little body that isn’t crying or squirming it’s a special moment. There are a ton of things that need done around the house but for that moment everything can wait and it’s just you and the baby.

As any mother knows, when you have children there’s not enough time in the day to get things done, and when you have a baby most of the time you would rather nap than do housework. It’s so great when family members visit and do some of that work that has been piling up. I feel a sense of relief and a pressure lift, as well as gratitude, when someone does those things for me, even if it’s just cleaning off the top of my stove. This doesn’t happen often because my husband and I live far from our family, so it’s very special when it does happen.

Eating a hot meal is another simple pleasure when you have a baby. Babies have a keen sense of timing and seem to know when you are just sitting down to eat. At this time, they usually cry or need your attention for something. Anytime a mother of a baby gets to eat a hot meal, or even a whole meal, is a small victory.

Babies take up a lot of time. At the end of the day, I often wonder what I did all day. I’m reminded the next day when I’m frantically running around after my five-year-old and tending to the baby’s needs. It is a great pleasure when I have time to do something that I used to do pre-baby. This doesn’t have to be anything elaborate or involved, even reading a page of a book is really nice or checking e-mail.

Adult conversation is something some mothers on maternity leave miss out on. It makes me feel like a person, as opposed to just a caregiver (not to diminish the importance of the role of taking care of a baby) when I sit down with another adult and talk about things that don’t involve poopy diapers, spit up, or housework. Actually, it’s nice to use my adult voice as opposed to the higher pitch one we use for infants and be able to use big words instead of silly noises or simple words like “ma” or “da”.

Going to the bathroom is also a simple pleasure when you have a baby or even a small child. First, it’s hard to even get time to go to the bathroom when you have a baby. Often when you finally have time, you forget you had to go, and as soon as you start dealing with the baby again you find yourself having to go really bad. Second, the bathroom can be a place of peace. You close the door and you have a moment to yourself. That is until you have a child who is mobile, and then they want to come in the bathroom all the time. Going to the bathroom alone is a big deal when you have children.

Your soft pillow and warm bed, these are things we can take for granted. For mothers of babies they are a simple pleasure and a great luxury since we don’t see them very often. When I lay my head down for that moment of sleep, I appreciate the comfort my bed provides and when I’m called away again, I miss it dearly.

Finally, there’s the second I sit down. I’ve done some housework, my oldest may be at school or playing nicely upstairs, and the baby is sleeping. The first instant I sit down without having something to do feels great. There is a weight that lifts and my body can relax for the moment, which is usually just that, a moment.

These are some everyday things that I appreciate as my time is consumed by two children. Taking pleasure in some simple things helps keep me sane.

Since I am nearing the half-hour mark of my baby’s nap, I had better sign off. My moment on the couch doing something pre-baby is over and I feel slightly refreshed and more like myself.

Bad Baby?

My youngest child will be six months old on February 18^th. When I go out I am often asked, “Is she a good baby?” I don’t remember being asked this with my first child and when I’m asked I always answer, “Yes.” I find this question a little puzzling since I can’t imagine saying, “No.”

I know people don’t mean anything malicious by the question, but it has left me wondering; if there are “good babies”, are there “bad babies”? The very thought makes me sad. It would indicate that the baby would be doing something wrong, which isn’t possible for an infant. They do what comes natural, cry when there’s a problem to alert people, laugh or smile with proper stimulation, sleep when necessary, and when they are a little older play.

My first child didn’t sleep. I’m not exaggerating. She napped in half hour chunks and was up literally every hour most nights. I had hoped my second would sleep but that’s not the case. She sleeps better than my first, but suffers from GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease) and wakes often because laying down aggravates it. Luckily, the first was and the second is good natured babies. Does not sleeping make either a “bad baby”? No way, we all have trouble sleeping at some point.

Some babies suffer from colic in their first few months. Colic is described as crying for two or more hours a day for no apparent reason. All newborns usually have fussy times at some point in the day where no matter what you do they are not happy. Colic is more extreme. Even with this unfortunate condition, I wouldn’t say the baby was “bad”. The baby has a problem and is letting the world know. Unfortunately, with colic only the baby knows what the problem is and he or she cannot tell.

As babies get older, they become much busier. As mine nears the six-month point, her hands are constantly moving. She tries to grab anything within arms reach. I’m sure when she becomes mobile she will be into everything. I don’t think her older sister has any idea what’s coming J I also wouldn’t characterize a baby who gets into everything as “bad”. This is how they learn and it’s very natural. It’s our responsibility as parents to keep a close eye on children to ensure they are safe or are put in a safe place to explore.

Those are a few of the common baby issues that I believe can be misunderstood, though I don’t think most people would say a baby was “bad” for doing them. I try to remember that babies and children are people to and try to treat them as such. We all have our moments of unpleasantness but that doesn’t make us “bad”.

So it leaves me to wonder, when asked, “Is she a good baby?” what would it mean if I said, “No.”?