My youngest child will be six months old on February 18th. When I go out I am often asked, “Is she a good baby?” I don’t remember being asked this with my first child and when I’m asked I always answer, “Yes.” I find this question a little puzzling since I can’t imagine saying, “No.”
I know people don’t mean anything malicious by the question, but it has left me wondering; if there are “good babies”, are there “bad babies”? The very thought makes me sad. It would indicate that the baby would be doing something wrong, which isn’t possible for an infant. They do what comes natural, cry when there’s a problem to alert people, laugh or smile with proper stimulation, sleep when necessary, and when they are a little older play.
My first child didn’t sleep. I’m not exaggerating. She napped in half hour chunks and was up literally every hour most nights. I had hoped my second would sleep but that’s not the case. She sleeps better than my first, but suffers from GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease) and wakes often because laying down aggravates it. Luckily, the first was and the second is good natured babies. Does not sleeping make either a “bad baby”? No way, we all have trouble sleeping at some point.
Some babies suffer from colic in their first few months. Colic is described as crying for two or more hours a day for no apparent reason. All newborns usually have fussy times at some point in the day where no matter what you do they are not happy. Colic is more extreme. Even with this unfortunate condition, I wouldn’t say the baby was “bad”. The baby has a problem and is letting the world know. Unfortunately, with colic only the baby knows what the problem is and he or she cannot tell.
As babies get older, they become much busier. As mine nears the six-month point, her hands are constantly moving. She tries to grab anything within arms reach. I’m sure when she becomes mobile she will be into everything. I don’t think her older sister has any idea what’s coming J I also wouldn’t characterize a baby who gets into everything as “bad”. This is how they learn and it’s very natural. It’s our responsibility as parents to keep a close eye on children to ensure they are safe or are put in a safe place to explore.
Those are a few of the common baby issues that I believe can be misunderstood, though I don’t think most people would say a baby was “bad” for doing them. I try to remember that babies and children are people to and try to treat them as such. We all have our moments of unpleasantness but that doesn’t make us “bad”.
So it leaves me to wonder, when asked, “Is she a good baby?” what would it mean if I said, “No.”?
