Go Ahead, Punish Me

My oldest is driving me nuts when it comes to finding a punishment that works. No matter what I try, it doesn’t seem to bother her. She’s eight now and I need to find something that works soon because she’s heading into the preteen years.

When she was two-years old, I would tell her, “If you don’t stop that, you will get a time out.” Her reply: “I want a time out.” Sure enough, when she ended up in time out, she sat on the step and entertained herself. Rarely has she cried or been upset to be put in time out. The threat of time out hasn’t been a deterrent for misbehaving.

I tried taking away whatever she was immediately involved with – a toy, the televisions, crafts. She would be upset for a short time and then head off to do something else. She would sometimes go without the toy or craft items for weeks before I remembered to give them back. Usually she would lose the television for the rest of the day or a of couple days, but she didn’t care much, she would just go play in her room.

Grounding has been met with the same response. No television or computer for a week, that’s fine, she occupies herself in her room. No friends for a week, that’s okay, she likes to play alone anyway.

The other night I told her that she would lose the television for the weekend if she didn’t stop misbehaving. She said, “Okay.”

Her nonchalant attitude towards punishments often makes me angrier. Show some emotion child. Let me know that what I’m proposing is actually a punishment.

I have yet to find something that works all the time. I usually have to assess the situation and decide on what seems worse at the time. Often I guess wrong, but sometimes I actually find something that is a punishment.